Masking: What it is and why it matters

Jun 03, 2025

Have you ever hidden parts of yourself just to fit in? Now imagine doing that every single day, constantly.

For many neurodivergent people, this isn’t just an occasional shift in behaviour. It’s called masking and it’s a survival strategy.

What masking really is and why it matters

We all adjust our behaviour depending on where we are sometimes. You might speak differently at work than you do with close friends. You might hold back certain opinions at a family gathering.

But for neurodivergent people, masking runs much deeper.

It’s not just adapting. It’s concealing.

Masking could mean:

Copying how others speak or move
Suppressing stimming or fidgeting
Rehearsing answers in advance
Laughing at the “right” moment
Pretending to understand
Holding back questions
Forcing eye contact
And much more

It’s a finely tuned performance, often learned from years of subtle (or not-so-subtle) messages that being different is wrong.

And it’s exhausting.

The research is clear: chronic masking can lead to anxiety, burnout, depression, and a fractured sense of identity. It chips away at mental health and leaves people feeling unseen, even in spaces meant to be “inclusive.”

If you’ve never had to mask in this way, it’s easy to miss. That’s why allyship matters so much, because the work isn’t just about noticing, it’s about changing the spaces that create the need to mask in the first place.

How we can reduce the pressure to mask

Here’s where small actions can make a big difference:

Stop judging how people communicate or behave
That colleague who paces while they think? The student who struggles with eye contact? These aren’t faults to fix. They’re simply ways of being.
Normalise different ways of doing things
Let people type instead of talk, fidget during meetings, or take extra time to process. Show that there’s no “right” way to participate.
Make room for breaks and downtime
Masking is tiring. Build in rest, whether that’s through flexible work patterns, sensory-friendly spaces, or downtime between social demands.
Check in, but don’t force interaction
Ask how someone’s doing, but respect their boundaries. Not everyone wants or needs the same kind of support.
Listen without assumptions
You don’t need to be an expert. Just be open. When neurodivergent people share their experiences, believe them.

Recommended resources

Masterclass: The Future of Neuroinclusion
Join me for our FREE masterclass on AI, intersectionality, and the future of neuroinclusion. You’ll also get a sneak peek into the NeuroNavigator® as we celebrate the launch.

Watch: Christine McGuinness’ ‘Unmasking My Autism’
A powerful documentary on autism in women, girls and non stereotypical presentations, and why it’s time for change.

Closing thought

You shouldn’t have to hide who you are just to belong.

Let’s create a world where no one feels they have to mask to survive because they know they’re safe, accepted, and valued as they are.